sweltering stats

I just took a look at the number of posts I’ve written. It’s pretty dismal. I started out gung-ho (with unrealistic expectations, of course!) and didn’t post daily, as I’d hoped I would, even the first month! I realized mid-way into January that it takes a lot of ‘think time’ to write even a short post. (For me, anyway! lol) I posted a total of 26 in January and 14 in February, 10 in March and only 5 each in the months of April, May and June. Only 2 entries made it in the entire month of July! With this trend, I’ll post one this month and be done blogging for good! Such a sorry state these stats show! But, this isn’t about numbers, it’s about life and authenticity.

But looking at the numbers can be helpful. These stats show that I had more discretionary time in the colder months! (Maybe because I’d rather sit inside than venture out into the bitter cold!) Reviewing these numbers acts as a gauge to give me an accurate reading of my life-pace, which I see clearly, has accelerated. This gives me reason to pause and reflect. If I enjoy writing, why am I not carving out time for it? If I made a goal to improve my writing via blogging, then I’d better get back on track! Soon!

Sometimes I psyche myself out with pressure from the ‘unknown readers out there’ instead of writing what’s on my heart to my friends. Often I’m my own worst enemy. I think most people are.

Knowing this about myself, I just reread my posts on perfectionism (1-4-10 and 1-7-10) to remind myself of my ‘former way of doing things.’ (Yes, I’m still in process, but I’m making progress!) If I were still ‘Kris the Performing Perfectionist’ I’d be skulking away about now, hiding my embarrassment and shame because of not having lived up to my stated goal. But hey, life is full and no one’s perfect and it’s time to shovel away the clutter in my life once again and get back to it!

I’d like to think the heat and humidity of these last 6 weeks are to blame. The heat bogged me down. It’s as if I’ve been moving in slow motion. Like my glasses fogging over as I walk out of my air-conditioned home, my thoughts become sodden and obscured from view. It’s as if my creativity has been constrained by the thick wet-hot mugginess of the air around me. My ideas have been weighed down, unable to take flight like the colorful butterflies that flutter through our garden.

So I’ve had to take action. Enough already! I have pulled myself away from the beauty outside (beauty is still magnetic, even when it’s sweltering, sweaty beauty) and I’ve made my way back down to my little quiet room, cool and pleasant. No sweat trickles to distract. No sweat-bees or bugs to swat. No distractions. Ahhhh. Just me and my drying clumps of thoughts. I know I’ll miss the summer once the icy wind batters the neighborhood again, but right now winter’s looking pretty nice! Maybe it’s just a fact that I’ll write more during winter, but I won’t let the stats get me down, or the heat!

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9 Responses to “sweltering stats”

  1. angie williams Says:

    Wait!! Maybe you didn’t mean you were done blogging at all! If so, this is marvelous!! If you are, (done) just as marvelous!

    As always, i love you!!!!

  2. Aimee' Says:

    Your blogs are such an encouragement. I will miss them, however you must do what God says and not try and to please others or even what you think is best. You have freedom to end your posting and that truly is a gift. FREEDOM!!! What a beautiful gift from God. Keep being you girl. You are a true blessing!!!!

  3. angie williams Says:

    I will miss your blogging, but I love the freedom you know in Jesus. I must have freedom to live this way as well! I think Jesus walked this way everyday of His life. “He only did what He saw the Father doing..”
    Or told HIM to do. Just like Pastor Les shared yesterday.
    Oh how i love you!!!! Maybe in a couple of years the Spirit of God will say, “blog today”. If He does, i have NO doubt you will. Personally, i pray it might be a little sooner. : ) (NOOOO pressure)

    You are so Precious. (and i am tearing up) Thank you for giving us such an honored look into your life. i am so grateful. i will miss this.
    But “we” have no greater joy, than to know you hear, obey and walk with Jesus.

    i love you, angie

  4. Emily Says:

    I laughed when I read your post, because I was just looking at my statistics today and realizing the same thing! I agree with your assessment that while the numbers aren’t everything, they sure are indicative of the pace of life! I’m glad that you’re taking the time to carve out some time to write, especially if that’s what God is laying on your heart. 🙂 Thanks for the reminder to slow down! Writing is so cathartic to me, I forget how nourishing it can be. 🙂 Love!

  5. Marva Says:

    Personally, I tend to lapse into ‘survival’ mode when the heat gets this sweltering (and when it’s bitter cold, too!), and I become less productive. But this morning I was challenged by the lyric of a song on the radio that said, “This is the first day of the rest of your life ….” For many of us, this phrase has been beaten to death – I think it was the ‘motto’ for my high school graduating class (we were such deep thinkers) – but this morning I was challenged by the concept that, in reality, every single morning is the first day of the rest of my life. So what am I going to do with today? With the rest of my life? I’d certainly better do more than just ‘survive’ another hot, sweltering day!

    Kris, I completely agree with the previous comments that we are all just so happy that you are able to be busy enjoying life and being active and pouring out to others in different ways than blogging. Your blog is always a treat to my day, no matter how frequent. Be blessed!

  6. Jennifer Says:

    Nice to know that between summers business and the suns unrelenting heat I am not the only one not getting things that I had set my heart of doing done. Thanks for the encouragement to know I am not alone in this matter. I too am not sure I am ready for what this winter might bring but I am definately DONE with this summer heat.
    I have enjoyed reading your posts and making my comments back , lol. Even if it is just to tell you that you have let me breathe a sigh of relief knowing my sisterhood also has short falls and I’m not the only one.

  7. Karen Says:

    I look at your posting getting less each month, as a testimony of who
    God is continuing to heal you. Your stamina has come back and your
    are out living life. There we summers when you could hardly walk.
    Even though we love here from you weekly, we rejoice in the renewed
    strength you have recieved. Keep the postings coming, but rejoice
    that your are reaping the healing of being able to living life in one of the
    hottest summers. Glad you are back and can’t wait for the next posting.

  8. Jan Lane Says:

    You go girl! You are the bomb.com:)

  9. Tracy Says:

    It must be the heat. Just this afternoon I was thinking – THESE are the days that made me never complain about how cold it was in winter!

    There are times when I am frustrated that writing doesn’t come as easily or eloquently to me as it does to some of those who have witty, funny, popular blogs. But then I remember a wise pastor’s wife who once spoke to our MOPS group about comparison, and I realize I have a lot of other giftings in life, and my blog, such as it is, can be an outlet for me to write in any form I choose! Short, long, well thought out or slapped up there. It’s just a brain dump for me, and I’m ok with that!

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