still at it

It’s an absolutely gorgeous day! I’m about to go out and enjoy it, but first I wanted to say that even though I haven’t kept you up to date on my Fitness Together progress, that doesn’t mean I’ve given up! To the contrary, I’ve been plugging away at this fitness thing for 13 months! It’s hard to believe, but I’m still at it (applause please, lol)!

What’s harder to believe, and I’m not proud to say this, is that even though I’ve been at it for over a year, it’s really no easier than it was (ok, maybe it is, a little!) Sticking with something that just doesn’t come naturally is just plain hard. I’ve never been an outdoorsy or athletic person. I think I could’ve been if I’d been brought up that way, but alas, I wasn’t.

We tend toward those things we are most comfortable with, whether or not they are good for us.

So, what I’m saying is, I’d like to tell you that if you stick with an exercise and eating plan, it’ll just become part of your life. Yes and no. If you stay intentional about it, it will. But if you drift back to your old ways, it won’t. Maybe after another year? I’ll let you know! I think the embarrassing truth may be that I’m always a batch of cookies or a bag of chocolate kisses away from blowing it. Hershey’s Kisses aren’t bad, but a whole bag of them is!

I love baking. My family likes it when I bake. I love being appreciated by my family for my baking/cooking. I love eating what I bake! Why would I give all that up!? Giving them up isn’t necessarily the answer – I’ve tried it and it just makes certain people (me) grumpy! A good compromise is doing less baking. I can still bake, just not as often. I can cook all I like, healthy dinners are a good substitute. Exercising to compensate for my goody-love is a wise plan also. I knew a police officer who told me once that the reason he worked out was so that he could eat what he wanted!

It’s sobering to own up to a reality in my life that I’m not proud of. Fitness will always have to be a deliberate choice for me. If I don’t stay focused and intentional, I’ll drift back to finding excuses for not getting to the gym or outside walking or running. I’ll drift back to being out of shape, out of energy, heavy, self-conscious and miserable. Wow, this is a good reminder of how I used to feel. Is it really worth feeling awful to laze back to my old bad habits? Hmmm, this puts everything in perspective. I’d rather have a little discipline daily than live a life of daily regret.

Recently my husband and I were on a week-long vacation where it was warm and sunny. Perfect weather for walking and running! Did I run or walk daily?  No. Did I go to the beautiful fitness room even once? No! The reason is this: for me, working out is still work! When I’m on vacation, I want to forget all work! I want to take a vacation from my problems, like my friend in my favorite movie, “What About Bob?”

The happy vacationing couple!

So, I gave myself permission to not work out. I walked up 275 stairs every morning and down that same number after being at the pool for a while. Sometimes I walked up those stairs two or three times a day. Les and I went for a beach walk one time because it was beautiful, not because I wanted exercise. I did nothing I didn’t want to do. (Isn’t that what makes a vacation so enjoyable anyway?) But I’m bummed that I didn’t want to.

Subconsciously it must have been bothering me. When I got home, I started having disturbing dreams – in them I was gaining weight, growing  bigger and bigger and stressing and stressing, my clothes wouldn’t fit – things like that. (I know I’m in trouble when I go to bed at night with the last thought on my mind being, “If I don’t make some changes tomorrow, I’m going to be in trouble. . . .”  Makes for a fitful night and a stressed out life!)

So, while I vacationed, I had a perfectly lovely time, but now I am home and am “back to work.”

I have to admit, it feels good to work out! Afterwards I’m always glad I went and put out the work. It just doesn’t come easily. I never get up in the morning with my first thought being, “Today, I can’t wait to workout. I think I’ll go right now!”

I guess what I’m trying to say is this, I would’ve thought that after a year of patterning my behavior and eating habits, it’d become natural. Although disappointing, at least I know where I stand and will just have to keep doing what I’m doing because it works, and because I feel terrific!

By the way, I ran more yesterday than I have in 6 years! I felt invigorated and happy! (I also could barely walk last night, but that’s beside the point!)

I’m still at it!

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10 Responses to “still at it”

  1. Jake Says:

    Kris, your words are inspiring to everybody, women and men alike. I am proud to know you as a sister in Christ. I simply enjoyed your speech on breaking barbie bondage, and I wish many blessings upon you and your family. God bless you in everything you are and everything you do!

  2. Janet Stone Says:

    I just listened to the “Dream” CD. Tears….tears…and more tears. In your story, I was awakened to so many of my own shattered dreams that I could not even see because I allowed them to be smothered by a deep, dense fog. Since we moved to Dothan, I felt I was like a Joseph, but never understood it like I do at this moment. In downtown there is a statue, seperate from all the other buildings, it is Joseph. The moment I first gazed at it, I knew God was affirming what I felt. Now, through your and his story I understand. I’m choosing to dream again. God bless you Kris and thank Les for giving this to me. I thought he was just being nice, but God had something else in mind. I love God.

  3. Jan Lane Says:

    PS – I want to see the bikini pics:)

  4. Jan Lane Says:

    You are one strong woman! I love love love this blog and I think that secretly you are a masochist! You had me at a batch of cookies! Love you friend:)

  5. Nicolette Jeffrey Says:

    Thanks for encouragement, perspective and a good, deep laugh out loud, hottie.

    Nicolette

  6. Les Says:

    I love being married to you! You are so much fun to do this life with. We mustn’t forget how far you’ve come, darlin wife – I remember the days when you couldn’t sit up without me lifting you and couldn’t get to the bathroom by yourself. I still have to choose to work out and I’ve been at it diligently for 40 years, for real. But it’s so worth it and don’t I know it . . . you hottie!

    Les

  7. Claudia Kaser Says:

    Oh how I can relate to you on the baking/eating part!!! I don’t remember the last box of brownies I made…. or chocolate chip cookies! But, I did do the crock pot peanut clusters for Valentine’s Day! Moderation…..right? 🙂

    Hang in there, girlfriend! You are NOT alone!

    Hugs!

  8. Karen Says:

    Oh Kris, how true your words are. I battle with my weight every day.
    Just like you I love to cook and since we feed our employees lunch
    every day, I am cooking and baking. I can relate to not wanting to do
    exercise. Knowing my kids are exercise crazies. But I don’t know if it
    is age, 2nd nature, or just plain “don’t want to”. But I agree I don’t go on vacation to work. And exercise is work.

    Hang in there, because you are fighting for all of us. Thanks for getting
    it to us just the way it is. I guess my 2 handfuls of M & M last night was not part of my diet. But they tasted really good.

    God bless girl, and here’s to a thin summer thru the eyes of Jesus.

    Karen

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