innate or not

I was at Fitness Together again yesterday. =) I go twice a week. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be able to go! I feel so healthy and strong and after years of being sick, I feel like a brand new person! I no longer feel old and decrepit! Now that is worth shouting about!

I was telling Nick (my trainer) about my sad revelation that after a year of working out, I still don’t have this workout thing ‘under my belt.’ How I thought that by now I would have become an avid workout junkie. That I’d wake up bouncing with excitement to go run or lift or whatever. That I’d just happily forgo whatever fattening food was in front of me knowing it was poison, certain death to my goals. Likewise, I’ve just assumed that people who workout always love working out, that it is innately a part of them, and that they never struggle with it. I always assumed there was a special workout grace for those lucky people who naturally gravitate toward athleticism. He smiled and said that to even those people it is still work. What? That’s not very encouraging to someone like me! But then again, it is. They still have to motivate themselves, as do I. It may not get easier, but at least it’s not easy for the naturals either. lol

Personally, I gravitate to sitting and reading, sitting and writing, sitting and working on my computer, sitting in the backyard enjoying the beauty or standing to cook! I consider pushing a grocery cart up and down the isles and carrying the bags in the house to be a workout!

Yesterday I was chatting with Deb at the dry cleaners about these things. She’s seen me change over the last year as I carry in dirty laundry and carry out freshly pressed shirts. She knows I’ve been a regular at Fitness Together just down the street, so she asked me how it’s been going. I shared my newest revelation of how it hasn’t gotten easy yet . . . and that it never will be easy, sigh.

She’s a runner. She’s been running for years! She told me that there were times she was unmotivated or wasn’t feeling all that well, but that she would keep at it because she was afraid if she stopped, she might not start up again! That’s what kept her running! We have something in common! That’s part of why I keep going! I’m not afraid if I stop I’ll never start up again, I’m fairly certain that will happen!

As I finished up my workout yesterday, Nick, as always, found the golden nugget of encouragement. He’s always so good at sifting through everything and seeing the improvement, the success, and pointing it out. He reminded me that even though I’d been extremely tired that morning (after flying in the night before – having taken 4 trips in 8 weeks!) that I showed up! That’s huge! He mentioned that I got out my food diary and started it up again, telling him about it so that I could be accountable. He said that is a great sign of change in my life. Monitoring my schedule, activity and eating and adjusting shows just how much I’ve learned over the last year.

He’s always so good at reminding me of the monumental steps I’ve taken, baby steps for me, yet life-changing significant steps all the same. (One small step for woman, one giant leap for womankind?) My friend Deanna reminds me regularly from whence I’ve come. It’s easy for me to forget the pneumonia, the dizziness, the weak heart, weak lungs, the multiple surgeries and weak muscles from all of that. Easy, because I want to forget. She reminds me and gets choked up just thinking about where I was and where I am now.

I may not be where I’d like to be. (But really, who ever is completely?) But, I’m not where I was, and I’m moving forward. That in itself is worth celebrating. Working out may never become easy, but Nick told me it shouldn’t. He said if it’s easy, then I’m not working myself hard enough. Why bother going through the motions but not gaining any benefit? Too many people settle for that. Workouts should be hard.

So, as I keep at it, I need to celebrate the little things, like the progression I’ve taken. Hate working out – dislike working out – seeing the benefits of working out – not hating working out – looking forward to working out because I will enjoy the benefits. I still wouldn’t get there without having to make and keep an appointment. The accountability is what gets me there! But at least I show up, and that’s progress!

Here’s to another year!

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5 Responses to “innate or not”

  1. Debbie Says:

    Have been noticing consistent change in you since last summer. Healthier, happier, more confident, more peace and a beautiful glow. So the outside of you appears to be lining up with the inside of you. You go girl!

  2. Deanna Says:

    Boy did I need this today! I got up this morning with things on the list of all the to-do’s and even thought I would go to gym, even put my gym closes on, so it would help me! But as the morning went on and the afternoon started to come around the corner, I was sinking fast into the office of to’do’s! Then I decided to read your blog, and what an encouragement it was for me, to know that it is such hard work .. and yes…. I do not feel like going some days… and putting in the time… but as you pointed out.. it’s the results.. and if I do not go and work hard and challenge myself.. I will not have the results that I am after! Thank you for encouraging me today to go! Thank you so much for the insight of your wisdom and your care for us! We are so proud of you and all that you have accomplished in these days of physical training! YOU are inspiring us ALL!

  3. Nicolette Says:

    Good for you.. The further extent of benefits has been and is to those who have been encouraged to pursue this in their own lives. Your vulnerability in an area of struggle helps others to follow suit in whatever area of weakness… grace for the humble. Your avatar even glows 🙂

  4. Les Says:

    I think this is especially powerful when both parties in a marriage feel the same way. I’ve been making myself work out for years and it’s great to have Kris embrace a workout lifestyle, especially after the challenges she’s faced.
    Thanks Honey! I’m proud of you.

  5. Karen Says:

    Oh this was just for me. Thank you for always being there with your comments. We are blessed.

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