Posts Tagged ‘quiet’

quiet and piles

June 7, 2010

Wow, I can’t believe it’s already been three weeks since I last posted! I’m trying to analyze why I haven’t written. Other than life being perpetually busy this time of year with weddings and graduations, throw in a funeral and on-going grieving process and add the process of one’s own daughter graduating, preparing for her grad party and the myriad details that come with college preparations and there just isn’t any space in the mind to let creativity run rampant! Piles of to-do’s and piles of things I need to remember clutter my brain.

It’s not just that, though. I think I self-sabotage by pressuring myself. “I’ve gotta write a post! It’s been x number of days!” The pressure prevents fresh thought. It paralyzes my brain.

Then, if that’s not enough, I think about all the people Les and I have told about my blog and I start thinking, “I don’t have anything to say! These people are going to read my posts and think, ‘What a waste of time!‘”

Perfectionism, as I wrote earlier, can paralyze me. “If it isn’t going to be great then I don’t want to do it at all!”

With all this going on in this crowded little head of mine, it’s a wonder I get anything written!

Well, now you have had a little peek into the mind of Kris Beauchamp! Crazy! Pathetic! I know! But it’s just the way it is!

The biggest reason though, is not creating quiet – not making quiet – not escaping early in the morning or late at night when the house is still and I can hear my thoughts. Quiet is essential to creativity – for me at least. I don’t know how other people find their sweet spot, but I have to create an atmosphere of calm, quiet, repose. My thoughts have to have space to collect and be shifted and sifted and marinated and cooked. Thinking takes time. It takes space. It takes energy. These are all precious commodities which are in short supply at this time in my life.

So, I thank you for your patience as I muddle my way through the piles of life! I probably need a good pair of boots and a shovel to begin excavation! Who knows what I might find underneath! There might actually be a couple of good ideas in there! Let’s hope so! And of course, you’ll be the first to know!

quiet beginnings

March 20, 2010

I have finally accepted the fact that it’s okay that I’m not a morning person.

I wish I was.

I’m just not.

I’ve never been one of those ‘slap-the-alarm-as-I-jump-out-of-bed’ kind of people; the kind that hit the ground running and have their day planned out well in advance! The more my day is planned out in advance, the more stressed I can become! I need flex! Spontaneity is my friend. =)

It’s not that I can’t be a morning person. (When one has small children, one is a morning person whether they want to be or not!) When I taught school, I had to be a morning person. It just wasn’t my preference! But now I understand why all those mornings were excruciatingly hard for me . . . I wasn’t a morning person by nature, or design.

I need quiet in the morning. I think I’ve always been this way; I just haven’t lived in synch with it. Thankfully now that my kids are older, most mornings are my own! Yea! I’m finding that if I can schedule my day to begin after I’ve had a quiet, slow beginning, then all is well with my soul!

I know it sounds like a luxury – but even 20 minutes alone before the morning buzz can be all that’s needed. (It’s never as much as I want, but even a little quiet-alone-time is better than none!)

Being more of a contemplative by nature, it’s as if I have to enter each new day by pondering my way in. Once my eyes are open, I think about the day ahead and what it holds. I observe what type of day has already begun outside from the slip of space between the blind and the window frame. Radiantly bright or dull and dark? Raining? Snowing? I want to know before I step out of bed!

A few days ago, I made myself a cup of coffee and sat on the family room couch, looking out the picture window. The morning was overcast and particularly dark. The house was hushed. My husband had gone much earlier and the kids and dogs were still asleep. Such a satisfying feeling – a quiet home; calm and peaceful.

I sat on the sofa sipping my coffee, listening to the house’s hum, enjoying a quiet beginning. The birds began to gather at the feeders beyond the window – first a solitary Goldfinch, joined momentarily by a Junko. Before long, the staccato chirp of the Cardinal alerted me to his arrival and I glanced up as his mate alighted on a branch close by.

There was just a slight breeze, unlike the forceful wind of the day before.  Nothing was stirring – outside or in.

My coffee mug was now empty but I lingered a little longer, not wanting to disrupt the stillness – the gentle peace – that feeds me and prepares me for the day ahead.

Most mornings I spend downstairs in my little room – a space all my own – sitting in my comfy chair, feet resting on a foot stool. It is a small space, cluttered with books, but it makes me happy to sit and read and think and write. I could spend an entire morning down there if it weren’t for all the tasks begging my attention.

Whether I enjoy my quiet beginning downstairs or up in the family room, the day eventually beckons me, calling me away, and I leave my little solitary space to enter the “real” world of activity that awaits. It helps to know that the stillness will be there again for me tomorrow.